This morning I woke up bright and early. I needed to give myself enough time to walk south towards the Magic Roundabout. There I was to attend a meeting of great importance, and I needed to get there early. Just over a dozen young people, between the ages of 16 and 30, had congregated here for the introductory Enterprise Start-up Information Session.
Yesterday I made a similar trip, walking from my boyfriend's flat in Canton towards my own place in Roath, and then on to the Cafe Nero to meet up with a business advisor from A4enterprise. He seemed nice and fairly chatty, admitting that usually he wouldn't be wearing a suit for the first meeting. He went over the programme and what would happen when, and then we agreed some deadlines for some business plans. I felt very good after this meeting, what with the sun shining away and my belly full of free hot chocolate and a feeling that I would succeed at becoming self-employed and self supporting through my idea to sell both art and art supplies via a website I would create.
Later that evening, the feeling disappeared completely. In its place lay a wriggling worm of doubt.
After finding numerous sellers of art supplies AND people on forums asking questions about selling art supplies, I started to feel like this wasn't my game. It seemed like such a good idea - sell art supplies because you can think like an artist who hates to spend money. But this is where the problem lies. If I were to really be the best art supply seller I could ever imagine, I would be giving the supplies to the artists for free, and giving them money for the work they produce! This is clearly not a realistically self-sustaining business plan.
The business would fail miserably.
After the information sessions today, I decided that I can't make this enterprise my plan for primary employment. This painty, creative, fun kind of art will be something I do, but it will be something I do on the side. I will have to find a different primary career for income.
I googled the definition of entrepreneur. They don't mind risk at all. I, on the other hand, can barely stand it.
So, I'm going to continue getting this entrepreneurship advice if only to set this art thing up on the side, but I will simultaneously be looking hard for an admin or office job of some kind. I've always considered office jobs as "not an option" because of the thought of being trapped in a box. I've realised now though, that I'm not really the claustrophobic type, especially when the choice is between hiding in the box or being devoured screaming and kicking by cold existence.
Follow this blog to follow the tale of how I eventually die.
Will it be warm, happy and loved in a snug bed at the age of 120 years?
Or penniless and deranged at the age of 23?*
I also occasionally use Twitter, so if you really like using Twitter, you can follow me at @CharGyse.
*(I hope not. I'm 23 now)