Searching for sand paper.

That moment when you've been researching how to cut glass bottles,

and have consumed plenty of Harveys Bristol Cream sherry,

so that you have a nice blue bottle for cutting,

and realise that the rough and fine sand paper you have kept

- in your collection of potentially useful things that never actually see the light of day

(except when you add another potentially useful thing) -

may actually have a use now,

and are searching for it in every place you can remember it being

- while tipsy,

since you've decided you're going to do a trial cut on a spare Desperados bottle

that you just happen to have kicking about although you finished it a long time ago,

- but you are still probably too tipsy to be attempting such things,

when really it would probably be easier to just buy one off the Internet.

But where's the fun in that?

To Do Lists: Because sometimes this stuff doesn't just happen.

Here's my current To Do List. Usually the things on my To Do List aren't actually things I have to do, and are more like things I've considered doing, thought would be good if I did do them, and hoped that I actually do get around to doing them. I probably only get round to half of the things before deciding, "Another time," or "...nah, I changed my mind." It's not a very good system. I highly recommend working on the things on your To Do lists instead of just hoping you end up getting them done.

To Do.


Christmas presents for family and boyfriend. All done!
Bought. Sometimes I like to start with things I can strike off straight away.
Wrap Christmas presents.

Sort out Digital Files and Folders. Half done...
I've been meaning to do this for years. I've just found out you can get some nice desktop backgrounds that look like rooms, which you can arrange your icons around on. I may have to make one for myself one day, but this has done for now.
As for the actual Files in the system.... well. That is going to take a little longer. But once I've done it, I'm sure life will feel a little clearer.

Learn how to do a Self Assessment.
I downloaded all of my transactions for the past 5 years yesterday and put them into a neat little graph. I'll learn how to actually do it properly after I've sorted out my Folders though.

Work on First Novel
First Draft of more than 40,000 words done thanks to NaNoWriMo.
Need to follow the steps on The Plot Whisperer to refine the plot arc.
And then... See what happens next after that.

Sell artwork.
Make more artwork.
Be less attached to artwork made.
Set up gallery of artwork, on or offline. Preferably online to begin with?
Actually start cataloguing artwork made.

Blog More.
I'm currently in the process of that...
Sell advertising space. By the way, if you have a site you think I'd like to link to, do let me know :)

Sort out Online Presence.
I did that less than a year ago, but I think I need to do it yet again. I have more than one blog, more than one email account, and those email accounts need sorting or deleting too. And I think I want to sort out my blogs too, add in some proper labels etc.

Do Laundry.
Sigh. Done?

Alright, this list is getting a bit cumbersome now. Better stop now and get on with the decluttering.

Get on it, girl!!

I've been checking out the blogs of fellow CGDers, and it looks like they've been good and busy - unlike me. Seems like I've been spending more time tackling an imagined problem of feeling trapped, and in the process been thinking, "Work for The Industry? Urr, no thanks, I want to work for myself!!"

While the thought itself is sound, the feelings holding up that thought aren't so good. It's like I've built up The Industry in my head to be this monster that wants to grab me, trap me and squeeze the life out of me. But a lot of deep thinking recently has made me notice that this way of thinking - Me vs The Industry [or generally speaking, The Other] - is bad. It disturbs my peace, presents a sense of conflict, and quite naturally just makes me want to run the fuck away. It's also a feeling that's been seeping into other areas of my life, which to put it lightly has been... annoying. A friend, Dave, seems pretty aware of this and has been trying to help me, which kind of amuses me. I think he's trying to get me to be more open and expressive. I don't think I need him to be doing it, I think if anything it's just making me more stubborn to hide. Probably because I like seeing him push people to do want he believes they want to.

Okay, enough blathering about that. Enough stubbornly doing nothing but watch and think. Time to actually DO something.

Okay, so I've been reading up a little more on like, Cryptology and Steganography and stuff like that, coded message and hidden messages etc. And before I left campus to get back to the Shire, the flatmates had a time where they suddenly discovered Audiosurf for themselves. I started thinking about maybe writing my dissertation on Flow or being in the zone in games, but I also started thinking about maybe making a game myself that involved going along a track.

So, I've got got this idea of making a game that will inadvertantly teach the player a bit of morse code [something simple, gives me a bit of limitation to work with]. It'll have sound, it'll have to be fun, and the point of the game will be similar to games like DDR and Guitar Hero and stuff where you have to hit the timing right. Haven't figured out what engine or software to make it in yet. Thinking I might check out Gamemaker again to work out the mechanics or whatever.

Getting more familiar with Morse code.

Also, since Autodesk have started doing that free licences for students thing, I should probably make use of that this summer too. I've decided I've got enough cash to not bother with a usual summer job of cleaning or serving the public/guests to Pembrokeshire. This summertime is for me.

And don't worry, I'll be posting better posts with less moaning and more pretty pictures soon enough. My list of things to do this summer include buying a decent camera, and actually making some jewellery instead of hoarding my string and beads like they're the last load of string and beads on the planet. Not that anyone reading this blog should care about string or beads or jewellery...

The End of the Naughties. Cough, I mean, Noughties.

Maybe it's because this year is the year I leave my teenage years behind, but I have been freaking out about my future during the past couple of days. In 10 days, I will be 20, and then 10 years after that, I will be 30. And so, I'm not going to make any New Year's Resolutions [...as if I even remember what they were by the end of the year. I definitely don't remember whether I made any last year, let alone what they were].

Instead, I'm going to make New Decade's Resolutions. This is a list of things I intend to do by the time we reach 2020. And yes, I intend to live past 2012, and expect everyone else to do so too [except for perhaps Michael Jackson, Brittany Murphy, and all the people I have actually met who ended up passing away in the past year. There were far too many of you]. I caught the last ten years of the 20th century, made it to the 21st century, and fancy seeing how things go into the 22nd century. I don't think it's too ambitious. But anyhoo's, onto the list:

1. Go to the Philippines

This is where my mother was born, and where I was conceived [...TMI?]. It seems that all I need to do this is to get myself a passport, and then wait for a time where I'm free and can tag along with the Fam when there's a nice deal going on.

2. Get a provisional driver's license

I think it would be nice to at least have the ability to drive, but mostly this is for ID purposes. It really wazzes me off when I find that a night out with friends gets sidetracked because I look young. As for actually learning to drive, I was originally going to learn ASAP, but now I don't really intend to start until at least after I have finished uni [...if ever].

3. Invent a new language for an imaginary world

I've always wanted to, and I don't see why I haven't started already. It'll probably be a mix of allsorts of languages, like Filipino, and english slang, and nonsense. All I have to do is get an English dictionary, take my pick of the words I want involved in my new language, and then write my translations next to them. Haha.

4. Set up my Life as an "adult"

This is the big one, the main thing that is freaking me out at the moment. At this moment in time, I do not intend to end up living at home in The Shire after leaving uni. Mostly because I dislike being told to tidy up a mess in the house by my sisters, because after living in my own space at uni I know that I'm not a particularly messy person. Or maybe I've just gotten used to being able to come and go entirely as I please.

...I did write a couple more paragraphs here, stressing about where to find a nice place, with nice people, and getting a nice job, and I'll marry a nice man like the lady in The Notebook, blah blah blah. I'll get there eventually, wherever there might be. When I think about my plan to live to see the next century, it kinda puts the timescale into perspective. But then, that just leads me back to the question: Other than live to see the next century, what do I really want to do with the time I have on this planet?

It's a bitch of a question. I think I'll let myself sleep on it.