Friday, 22 April 2016


Ok, so now it seriously has been a while, and I'm not talking the kind of while that last a few weeks without a post. I'm talking,

nearly 3 YEARS.

So what happened?

Well, I got a job in an interesting bar working with my sister, then moved behind the scenes into the bar's kitchen making pizzas for a year and covering a lady on maternity leave (not with the pizza), then popped back out onto the bar, heading back behind the scenes into the cellar every week to do the line clean. I get to wear goggles to protect my precious eyeballs from corrosive chemicals.

Yay, science!

And that about brings us up to date with what I've been doing professionally, but...

As far as this blog is concerned, I've basically been sat around for a year wondering how to fix my laptop or whether to just buy a new one after an online banking security "Rapport software update" rendered my beautiful XPS M1530 essentially comatosed. Then when I finally did learn how to wipe and reinstall a new OS on the old girl, installing only things like antivirus, GIMP, Blender3D, and a nearly unrecognisable (to me, yeah it had been a while) Unity3D on top, I only had her running for a few months before the screen stopped displaying things properly.

But what could I expect, she's a 7.5 year old laptop. It's not like I grew up in the 90's with my dad's old MS-DOS computer still working after probably more than 10 yea-


Nevermind, at least thanks to the world of Moore's Law I will probably be able to afford something just as good or better for like half the price or less.

If you're wondering what I'm typing on now (and you definitely aren't), it's a Samsung Galaxy Tab 2 7.0 that I bought from a Tesco supermarket for about £130 in 2013, and it's probably more powerful than what Nasa had available to them when they put men on the moon.

Yay, Moore's Law! 

But technical difficulties are probably the least of my worries in the realm of productivity when I have a boyfriend that owns a PS4 and plenty of time in which to play Terraria or Nom Nom Galaxy and watch things on Netflix like QI, Wonders of the Universe with Brian Cox, Orphan Black, and all of the SloMo guys, CrashCourse, SciShow, VSauce2, and Polygon's Monster Factory that I can handle.

Honestly, last night I dreamt a fresh cadaver had his main skeleton removed and in the lower legs were rows of teeth - as if underneath it all, legs are actually just a different version of a jaw -

And as I explained this to my Sam this morning I pranced swiftly into a sentence about how DNA kinda of works in hierarchical layers like a company with some genes saying, "make an eye here" and other genes under them saying, "make the eye look like this" and others saying, "make the lens inside of the eye that looks like that be like this".

If you took the gene from a species, e.g. a mouse, that says, "make an eye" and spliced it into a different species', e.g. fly, embryo where the leg would develop, thinking, "Hey, imagine a fly with a mouse eyeball on its leg hurrhurrhurr...", what would actually happen is the fly would grow an eye on its leg - but not a mouse eye, with safety goggles to protect it from all the science going on. No, the fly's own DNA would inform the cells what kind of eye to grow on the leg.

Somebody actually did this.

It's like, why do I know these things? I'm just a barmaid, right?

Yep. A barmaid. In 2016's Great Britain. Yay, technology! 

Follow this blog to see whether I start growing eyeballs on barfly knees, or if you like Twitter,  you can always follow me @CharGyse. Although it's mostly just reposting pictures from my instagram.