Monday, 22 March 2010

Escaping from Life? Man up, will you.

Ollie sent me this link today: "The most dangerous drug isn't meow meow. It isn't even alcohol..." by Charlie Brooker

Combine that with the post I wrote yesterday, and it makes me wonder about people. Life is actually really interesting when you stop to examine and experience it properly. What is it that we are doing to ourselves, our culture, to make us feel like jumping the ship of reality?

Is it because we have shackled ourselves into lifestyles that feel so boring that we feel like we have to create virtual realities to escape to, and exaggerate the stories we write in newspapers to make life sound more interesting than it seems?

Look at Second Life.
What is stuff like that all about? I mean, fair enough if you have serious disabilities preventing you from getting out there and doing much, like connecting with people. But if you're perfectly "normal"...?

Or fair enough if you want to quickly see how it might feel to dress a certain way, or have a certain colour hair, or go to a certain place. But to do it in a virtual world is not the same as doing it for real.

Get out there. Wear those different clothes, for real. Try out that hair style, for real. Go to that place, FOR REAL. If you are capable of doing it, then why aren't you doing it?

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Stubborn Response #1: But I don't have the time...

Make time. Plan a time where you can do what you want to do, and just do it. I don't care if your job doesn't like you dying your hair. If you have a job, then you can probably buy a wig, and wear it out one day in public. That's all it takes to experience a day of purplehairness. Well, purplehairnessish. To do the job properly, dying your hair purple would help you experience true purplehairness. Wearing a purple wig would only help you achieve the experience of true purplewigness.

Whiney Response #2: ...But people will stare at me if I "wear that purple wig".

So what? If people stare, you can relax knowing that you've just made someone else's day more interesting. If you have to, make up an excuse to do it. Wear a sign around your neck saying you're doing it for charity. Even better: Actually do it for charity. Why wait for Red Nose day? Charity can happen any time of year.

Naff Response #3: ...But I don't know how to "get a purple wig".

Are you serious. One word dude: T'INTERNETZ.
You're reading my blog. Surely you know how to use a search engine.

Lame Response #4: ...But I can't afford "that purple wig".

Then start saving up. If you're not earning anything, start earning. Read Siddhartha by Herman Hesse. If Siddhartha can go from being a ragged beggar to wealthy merchant, why can't you?

Decent Response #5: ...But I have mental issues. They're like physical limitations, except they be in me brains.

Professional help exists for a reason.
If you can't afford professional help, please see my reply to Lame Response #4.
If you can't think of a way for you to earn dosh, please see my reply to Naff Response #3.
If you don't have time to check out the internet for a way to help yourself, please see the first two words of my reply to Stubborn Response #1. If you have time to read my blog, you blatently have time to google something.
If your mental issues consist of you feeling slight apprehension towards the idea of doing something that's different to "normal", please see the title of this blog post.

I don't want your excuses, I want you to get rid of those mental barriers.
Accept responsibility for your own life.
Stop putting it off. Stop being lazy. You can start doing it today.

Observational Comedian's Response #6: ...But I don't want people here to discover how cool life can be and stop complaining about shit the world seems! It'll ruin all my observational jokes about how the British are.

Trust me, when people in their 30s and 40s start following a 20 year old Computer Games Design student's advice and start wearing purple wigs to their office jobs, the newspapers will go mental about the PWE [PurpleWigEpidemic], and you'll have plenty to joke about.



Warning: Charlotte Gyseman is not a certified advice-giver, although she has got lots of certificates that she got in school for various things. Some of them were even laminated. So if you're thinking of taking her advice and end up doing something stupid, please see the part where she told you to accept responsibility for you own life.
[This means: Don't sue me. Especially not if your kid does something stupid after reading this article. If you have kids, they are a part of your life, and therefore your responsibility, not mine. Two words: Parental Controls. If you don't know how to use them, google it. Or get your kid to show you.]

P.S. The important bit is the big bit in bold.

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